Photo501.

It has arrived! After weeks of waiting, the Photo501 we ordered from YesAsia has arrived! Woohoo!!

And this week my order for the 1st Story of SS501 DVD will arrive too!

I plan to buy the Super Show DVD but I'm still not sure. I've seen lots of footages in YouTube, and the The-Making DVD has no English subtitles.

Grr. Oh well. Let's see. =)

Happy!

happy Birthday to my dear Tito Pablo!

Horror Movie.

It's 3:52am. Still jobless.

Yesterday marked my mom's 1st death anniversary. A year just flew by -time really does fly. I miss her every day. I miss my dad, too. Not a day passes that I do not think of and miss them. I still choke and get teary-eyed just thinking of my dad. Moreso with my mom. And I can not believe that I do not have them with me as I go through hell.

2009 started out pretty well for me, but the past few months have been difficult. I think my family does not know the extent of my pain and frustration the situation has created for me. I'm still trying to understand things and talking with friends who are going through the same thing greatly helps - but it's not enough. Everyday is just painful. Everyday is torture.

I can truly say that I do not know how things got out of hand. I was just in the middle of the crossfire, minding my own business, and I end up getting shot. Over and over again. And just when the last breath leaves your mouth, your whole life flashes before you.

It's like I'm starring in a horror movie with no end in sight. And I hate horror movies.

Mommy!

Happy Birthday Mommy!

I love you. I miss you.

*Happy Birthday to Kim Hyun Joong, too.

Downpour.

I should've posted this entry a week ago - but I forgot. Hehe.

**************

It has been raining in Manila for the past 2 or 3 days. The wind was strong, especially last night - our Balete tree fell. Can you imagine a Balete tree falling? Well, it wasn't that big but still. I'm glad the Langka tree is staying strong. Good for her =)

When I was in my grade school days, I'd be real happy when it rains because it means no classes! I wouldn't have to think up of an excuse not to go to school. Hahah! But I also remember my dad saying the rain also brings good luck - whenever we had a birthday in the family it would always rain and that's what he would say to us - swerte.

When I entered college and started to date seriously and have these tragic relationships I'd associate the downpour with the tears I have shed and have yet to shed. Ang cheesy! haha! But it would prompt me to put on sad music and think about my failures. Ka-dramahan talaga.

It's different now. When it rains I feel like grabbing a good book, situate myself on a cozy sofa and read the while away. I'd get a fleece blanket and a squishy pillow so if I fall asleep on the sofa I'd still be comfortable. Sometimes I'd go to my parent's room and look at old photos and reminisce about my childhood. I'd look at pictures and tell myself how lucky I was to have a great family. I'd look at the family trips to the beaches, Baguio, Hong Kong and feel good about myself and how I was brought up.

The downpour does bring memories but let it not bring sad memories.

Safely Home.

On February 24, 2009 my nephew's schoolmate and former classmate Amiel Alcantara died in a tragic car accident. During his wake, they gave out Thank You bookmarks with his picture and a short prayer from St. Therese of the Child Jesus. At the back was a poem - Safely Home. When I first read the poem I had to go to the bathroom because I had to cry so much. I kept thinking of my mom. I kept the bookmark with me because I realized how I love the poem and its meaning - for me.

I'd like to share it now. This is for everyone who has lost someone in their life. Take comfort in these verses.

SAFELY HOME

I am safely home in Heaven, dear ones;
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever
Safely home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder why I so calmly
Trod the valley of the shade?
Oh! But Jesus' love illimined
Every dark and fearful glade.

And He came himself to meet me
In that way so hard to tread;
And with Jesus' arm to lean on,
Could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely,
For I love you dearly still
Try to look beyond earth's shadows
Pray to trust our Father's Will.

There is work still waiting for you
So you must not idly stand
Do it now, while life remaineth --
You shall rest in Jesus' land.

When that work is all completed,
He will call you Home
Oh, the rapture of that meeting
Oh, the joy to see you come!

Baguio weekend.

Blogging from an internet cafe just outside of the Ina Mansion Hotel in Baguio. Still downloading SS501 videos as I type. Facebooked for a while but didn't really linger - just checked my messages.

Been here since Friday 11am. Left Manila at 5:00am. Once we were settled in my 2 nephews played their PS2 while I took a nap. we had dinner in Mamawell's Korean Restaurant and then went to SM to get groceries for our breakfast for the duration of our stay. They also wanted play online that's why we went here too last night.

Earlier we went to Camp John Hay to have lunch and browse through the merchandise in the Mile Hi center. Took lots of pictures - well, my nephews took a lot of pictures. Hehe. We also went to the Teacher's Camp Museum and had lots of pics there too. We then went back to SM to get my brother's jeans which he had fixed. While waiting for them my sister and I went to Surplus Shop and we were able to buy a few shirts and I was able to get a black coat - not as nice as the one I wanted to get but it'll keep me warm and it will go well with jeans and with business attire.

The kids went to Quantum and then after an hour we went back to Camp JH for dinner with Tito Pablo and his family (Tito Pablo is the younger brother of my mom) at Dencio's.

It has been jampacked. Haha. If it were up to me I'd rather stay in the room - but I'd miss hanging out with my pamangkins too much :p

That's all for now. Manuod pa ko ng videos... the wholesome kind =)