Monday, October 31, 2005


Don't have time to post a new entry, I'm still uploading pics BUT I'm not busy to share this freakin' funny video (got it from Dunedain from PEx).

Made my day, really.

Lolo's Magic

It's not gonna be there forever ika nga ni Dunedain so if you want a copy just shoot me an e-mail.

Oh, if you have dial-up, it's gonna take some time. It's 6.55 MB.

Enjoy! Ciao.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Beach Me.

I lie in wet sand. Eyes closed.

I feel the sea caressing my ankles as they bow to the tide… slowly, almost sensuously... and I fantasize... and I begin to wish on the last star I see to let the night stay.

I feel the last surge of the cold water embrace me... I feel the tiny hairs on my shoulders, my arms and on my bare belly stand on end...

I hear myself moan. A throaty, cat-like purr escapes my salty lips. And I fantasize with no end in sight.
A whiff passes my nostrils... of orchids and mint... my back arches from the beautiful scent and I struggle to gain control... I breathe deeper... languid breaths relax what remains of my tingling soul.

I lie in still wet sand. I open my eyes.

The sun is peeking. I can see its rays trying to reach me.

Ah. Daylight.

I try to move away. Inch by inch. My mind flashes with images of refuge. But I still lie.

It is a losing battle, I know. Foolish of me to ponder that I can run away from the laws of nature.

So I succumb to the light. I give in to the heat.

I do not dare move now. I feel the anguish in its glare. I do not close my eyes.

And I take it all in.
Until I burn with the twisted pleasure. Until I glow with the fantasy... and languish in what may not be.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


So, the day of reckoning has come. Hehe.

I am, as of today, officially 29.

Anyway, amusingly, more than one friend texted me, 'How does it feel to be almost 30?' I replied: Age ain't nuthin' but a numbah.

And then ---- it hit me. I am almost 30.

Well, how does it feel to be 'almost' 30, you say?

Oh, it doesn't feel any different when I was 28... or 27... or 26. Hmm. The way I feel hasn't changed. The adding of 1 year to my age hasn't added any burden to my chaotic, dramatic, unconventional life. Physically, no difference. Emotionally, hmm, quite (oh shoot, no details muna). Spiritually... hey, I’m getting there.

I say: It's all about perspective and attitude.

I think my perspective all changed when I turned 25. That was when my real life began.

In my early 20's, I knew some people viewed me as unorthodox and rebellious, always turning up their nose when I pass them by. I used to care what they think. I used to make sure I behaved properly when they were around, and just let my hair down after they've gone. In this manner, I pleased them, and I got my way, albeit only after and just for short a time. I used to believe that in order for me to be happy I should strive to please as many people as I can. I felt restricted and chained to a list of rules that didn't agree with my perverted behavior and go-getting ways. I was confined to a seat I didn't feel comfortable in.

Ooooh, the agony.

But once I passed the quarter (of a century) mark, I discovered my dexterity to break free from the pressures of society and the norms they have hammered into my heart. I wanted to be undaunted. I felt the unsettling need to throw back my head and laugh like a woman who has seen it all, been through it all. I sought to throw my inhibitions out the window and be a woman of the world: who worked smart and hard then partied harder.

I realized my life was too short to be bothered by individuals who do not see beyond the money, beyond the clothes, beyond the title people carry.

I held, in my own hands, the power to direct my life as I see fit.

I knew there were risks. Frankly, I was terrified of where I would take myself. Knowing my brain and my heart, they were going to lead me into many painful and melancholic paths littered with insensitive men (who think they're God's gift to women), user-friendly friends (who will leave as soon as they see another cow to milk), and masterful servants of wishful thinking (who live in a kaleidoscope world of their perfection at the same time swim in doubt).

Yet I also knew that however dark and bleak the path I choose to tread on, I will have my family and some proven life-long friends (they may be few, but they are treasures) to lean on; I have my father who never fails to keep watch over me from the gates of Heaven, whose death made me realize that if I wish to love - I should, and ask nothing in return.

Again: It's all about perspective and attitude. Be my age and sulk in a corner regretting every damn mistake you made.

Or be my age and just live, hurt, heal, be happy.

Footnote: Thanks to everyone who texted me, called me on my cell or home phone, messaged me in Friendster and Multiply to greet me today. I have everyone listed, yes, and I’m going to reply to every single text and email and message. Thank you for 'being with me' on my day. Thank you. I was touched and some of the messages made me cry. Leche kayo. Hehe. Pag-gising ko tuloy kanina namamaga mata ko. But, hey, thank you for the sweet and tear-jerking messages.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Oct. 1976.

A few more days and I'll be turning 29.

And to tell the truth: I can't wait.

And to tell another truth: I have never lied about my age, to anyone.
It's because when people ask me (what my age is) they can't believe I'm already this old . Nyahaha!

I was born in the year:
The Ramones released their first album;
The Damned released their punk rock single 'New Rose';
Fleetwood Mac released their 'Rumours' album;
Apple Computer was formed;
Microsoft is registered in the state of New Mexico.

How cool-er can I get? Hehe.


2 things I want for my birthday:
a new Samsung E530
hmm. can't decide what color to get. hmm.
and a pug to own and to love.
male, female. doesn't matter.

Make that 3:
Good health for my beautiful mom
(here with my equally beautiful niece, Regeena).