2 days ago I was planning on writing an entry similar to this. Stupid me checked his site and I know I shouldn’t have.
Because I know I’ll only get hurt.
Get hurt I did.
Fuck it. I still am.
A year ago I figured I would take the risk but I would be wiser. I would be stronger. I would teach myself to accept and then, finally, to forget.
Yet here I am still longing for him. Still pining.
Am I taking the wrong risks? Am I blind to the light?
I want to blame him for my misery but I won’t because all fingers will point to me.
If this is sanity then I want none of it.