2 days ago I was planning on writing an entry similar to this. Stupid me checked his site and I know I shouldn’t have.

Because I know I’ll only get hurt.

Get hurt I did.

I am.

Fuck it. I still am.

A year ago I figured I would take the risk but I would be wiser. I would be stronger. I would teach myself to accept and then, finally, to forget.

Yet here I am still longing for him. Still pining.

Am I taking the wrong risks? Am I blind to the light?

I want to blame him for my misery but I won’t because all fingers will point to me.

If this is sanity then I want none of it.