I Have Game. Do You?

Back to square one. After years of restraint, of repressing the pleasure and satisfaction I know I will gain. All of it - a waste of my effort. I'm unsteady on my feet. My head spins. My stomach full of butterflies. It's all coming back to me now.

Someone just asked me what's new with me. I wasn't able to reply. Then he asked if me if I had, at least, plans. I was dumbfounded. I immediately realized - I had no plans. Yuck. Points to ponder for the next few days. *sigh*

I splurged. Now I'm broke. Haha. My hard-earned money spent on a new laptop! Sanay naman ako ng nagtitipid eh. I'm just thankful that I have the things I have. And I have the people who really matter close to me, healthy and nourished. Matagal ko nang alam na materialistic akong tao, but c'mon who isn't? I crave for the newest gadget and the trendy shoes. I covet new leather bags and wish I could buy every book I've wanted. Yet I know I won't be able to bring those to my grave. I crave and I covet but I don't steal and lie. I'm not fond of scammers and I know quite a few. And it pains me to see people who lie and cheat get ahead of people who do a clean job. Unfair diba? But yes, life is unfair - but it doesn't have to be. **** I miss my mom and my dad. Wish I was a kid again. No worries, no issues. The years are again passing me by. *sigh*