I Have Game. Do You?

Dec 29 '06. Friday, 2:19pm. Tired from harassing myself to finish my quota for the week, I gratefully sat on a vacant bench on the bus and proceeded to listen to my pod. I go to my Chill Out playlist and once the music starts I close my eyes and take myself on a ride I'm all too familiar with. My mind processes the events which made me cry and left me with no sleep. I cringe at my feeble and cowardly attempt to profess my affection and a sigh escapes from my lips at the thought of getting no reaction whatsoever. Regret tries to enter with its ugly lengthy horns, but I close my mind to regret. If it hurt, it was probably worth it. Flashes of Nitro IB pics, okrayan with Markie and Jamie, coaching session with my agents, 45-minute yosi breaks in Starbucks Valero, counseling sessions with Cha Ems, Astoria drinking nights. My mind then scans through the QA room nightshift quartet (Vince, Jenny, Fats, Me): I remember the night when Fats went on leave. In an attempt to have Fats brin...

Nobody does it better than Jason Mraz. Merry Christmas!

This Buffy quote. "Passion, it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us, passion rules us all and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments: the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow--empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead." Will be leaving for Baguio in a few hours. May this short respite rekindle any passion left within.

I attended a seminar the office was conducting called Quest for Personal Mastery (QPM). The seminar discussed how well you know yourself ( personal mastery nga eh !); how well you know your goals and objectives; when to tag tasks as important and urgent or important but not urgent; when to take a break from the chaos; and, what are the standards by which you live by. The seminar did not disappoint and we ended the day feeling good about what we've discovered and shared with the other participants. I was particularly happy because for the longest time I've wanted to compose a Mission Statement and much to my delight QPM helped me compose one. I was so proud of having written it I immediately saved a draft of it here so I can share it thereby ensuring I would have a follow through. This was a good 2 months ago. I haven't published it as you may have noticed. Honestly, I'm scared to publish it. Scared like a wet cat under a car with nowhere to go. It hurts to admit this: ...

Finally bought meself a spanking 160GB external hard drive. Oh yeah. I'm currently moving all of my files right now. And I am mighty pleased. My sister has been complaining that her 'space' has dramatically gone down. And she's blaming me. Er well, you see, we just share 40GB of space so ubos agad yung kalahati - and most of hers too - because of my files. You have to understand... I have my needs for crying out loud! Another good thing about having this good-looking gadget is that I can now access all my files (movies, music, pictures, documents) using the PC or my laptop. I also love its security feature: this baby is password protected. Hah! My porn files are safe!!! Ah, er, well, I mean, y'know what I mean... ********* My best friend Mayette has just returned from her 3-week Asian backpacking romp and I can't wait to see her and hear all her stories. I would've loved to travel with her to Asia's exotic places but going on-leave for 3 weeks from wor...

2 days ago I was planning on writing an entry similar to this. Stupid me checked his site and I know I shouldn’t have. Because I know I’ll only get hurt. Get hurt I did. I am. Fuck it. I still am. A year ago I figured I would take the risk but I would be wiser. I would be stronger. I would teach myself to accept and then, finally, to forget. Yet here I am still longing for him. Still pining. Am I taking the wrong risks? Am I blind to the light? I want to blame him for my misery but I won’t because all fingers will point to me. If this is sanity then I want none of it.