Monday, December 05, 2005

Invisible.


Yes, my dramatic-life-mode has been on again for quite some time. *sigh* Throwing myself at work with a passion people have difficulty understanding.




Steady lang.




I've bought my new phone, the Samsung e530. I was craving for the green one to match my iPod but I only had a choice of blue, pink, and orange. Girl as I am, I got the pink. Hah! Also, I've been promoted from QAA3 to QA01 [which gives me the opportunity to handle my own team in the next couple of months]. 6 months worth of hard dirty work. Alvin told me the stress was showing in my shoulders. And in the way I hold my stare. Oh dear, it's that obvious, huh? And I thought I was handling things just fine.




Crap.




Saturday afternoon was spent catching up on much-needed sleep. Got home from a post-shift meeting around 1pm, slept at 5pm and consequently woke up at 7am Sunday. I loved it! Hehe. I only got up once, around 4am, when Mayette called to say Say has been evicted from the PBB house and that they were on their way to Rembrandt Hotel to see her.





Happy and excited that I was for Say, I had to decline. I called Say just to catch up on things and to make her promise to go out with us soon. She sounded dazed somewhat, most probably with everything. Also got a text from Bianca asking where I was and that they were already in Jaipur.




Crap, crap.




Anyway, I woke up feeling energized. Cleaned my room, ran my errands. By 4pm I was bored. It was my barkada's Sunday night movie date but Alvin texted me the plan was just to chill in Bryan's house and watch some of his newly-bought dvds, and I should just come over anytime.




Went to mass first then went to Kamagong after. I brought some junk food with me so we had things to munch on during the 'dibidi' marathon. Hehe. Had some pizza delivered. Watched 40-Year Old Virgin, Deuce Bigalow 2, The Island.




As always, had an awesome time laughing my ass off with their hirits.




Went home at around 5am, smiling.




Thank God for friends who know the truth.







As the weekend passed, I made a bargain with myself and it has now come to this:
I miss you so much but I don't think you miss me too.
I want to be with you. What hurts is the thought [that] you don't want to be with me.
I hate it when you ignore me and act as if I don't exist.
I'm invisible to you.
I think I'm finally realizing how much I really do like you *gulp* and I think it's too late for me to do anything about it.
I believe this is the best time to say good-bye to you, my twisted sunshine.
You will be always be someone special to me and I hope you find that perfect woman you're looking for.
I hope she'll love you as much as I'm doing now.
And if you do find her, I only wish you'll love her in return.

5 comments:

Quentin said...

you know what, this blog could use a refreshing shade of sky blue, or dusk blue or anything that needs some lovin'. before you know it, the next wave of summer is coming up, and you'll get weeks and weeks of unadulterated sunshine that asks nothing of you except to bask in its rays :}

<-- haven't watched the 40-yr old virgin and deuce bigalow 2

... beachfreak said...

@quentino: You should watch those films. Laugh trip. Hehe.

Hay. It's a realization, a couple of months in the working. And I had to just text him earlier. Ugh.

Tanga ako talaga.

But, as I said, it's done. Ayoko na talaga. Kung ayaw saken, I can take it. I was never special to him anyway.

If it hurts, it's probably worth it.

boysarcastic said...

alam nyo... nasasad ako sa mga ganitong kwento... un lang hehehe ;-(

mell ditangco (this is my pseudonym) said...

:)

... beachfreak said...

@boysarcastic: Kung nasasad ka, pano pa ako? Hehe.

@kuya mell: hmm. Pa-smile smile ka na lang jan ah. Haha.