Swing away.

Sometimes life throws you these amazing fastballs. I don't like spending time analyzing how to catch it the easiest way I can.

I just grab a bat and swing away.

I just swing away.

Litany.

I miss you.



Fuck it.

I miss you so much. I miss running my fingers through your hair.

Fuck it.

I miss your lips.

I miss you.

I miss being with you. I miss the way you make me laugh.

I miss you.

I miss everything about you.

I miss you.

Of Age and Wisdom.

I'm turning 30 this October. And sometimes I can't quite believe it. At times I feel some years of my life just passed me by and it sucks when I waste time thinking long and hard what I did with those years. It also hurts I can't seem to remember what good those wasted years did me.

There are so many things I'd love to accomplish, adventures I'd love to devour, experiences I'd want to gush about, deadlines I'd be challenged to meet. Yet here I am in my darkened room thinking about wasted years, nothing to show for my bravery and eloquence.

I am envious and I am still blind.

I see the horns of depression pushing its way out. I feel the bumps of helplessness struggling to take over. I'm thinking it's futile to stop them. But I still suppress them with what's left of my diminishing sanity.

I'd like to think I'm in control of my life. I'd like to think I'm an adult who has learned from her mistakes. I'd like to believe I'm veering my life in the direction I want it to go. I'd like to believe I'm actually making a difference.

I'd like to. That tells me everything is an illusion.

I'm living the life of a 25-year old with nothing to lose but time.