Horror Movie.

It's 3:52am. Still jobless.

Yesterday marked my mom's 1st death anniversary. A year just flew by -time really does fly. I miss her every day. I miss my dad, too. Not a day passes that I do not think of and miss them. I still choke and get teary-eyed just thinking of my dad. Moreso with my mom. And I can not believe that I do not have them with me as I go through hell.

2009 started out pretty well for me, but the past few months have been difficult. I think my family does not know the extent of my pain and frustration the situation has created for me. I'm still trying to understand things and talking with friends who are going through the same thing greatly helps - but it's not enough. Everyday is just painful. Everyday is torture.

I can truly say that I do not know how things got out of hand. I was just in the middle of the crossfire, minding my own business, and I end up getting shot. Over and over again. And just when the last breath leaves your mouth, your whole life flashes before you.

It's like I'm starring in a horror movie with no end in sight. And I hate horror movies.