Sunday, January 09, 2005

Kung Fu Hustle and Mirages.


It's 3am. I'm not sleepy. And to think I have to go to work, OT and 6th day, later at 10am. Hay. But it has to be done. Oh well, no sense in bitching about it, right? Right.

I watched Kung Fu Hustle in G4 with Alvin, Bry, Carlo, Jhan, Dino, Nye, Ady, and Marco. Laugh trip sobra. Stephen Chow was hilarious and I loved the story. Will not tell, but it was funny but had sense. Kakaiba talaga. I've always been fascinated by kung fu movies, even as a child. I'd always watch those Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan movies, either with my dad or kahit ako lang. I have a small collection of those videos but I don't get to watch them as much as I'd like to. Some of them are even in VHS formats pa! :D

Anyway, after the movie we played sa arcade, actually yung boys lang, kaming 3 girls nanuod lang, and then after we just proceeded to North Park in Makati Ave. The plan was to go to Kamagong and drink a few beers before parting ways but since I had work nga, nagpahatid nako. And wasn't really in the mood to drink anyway. Been wanting to go online so I can check stuff.

I want to say, or rather type so much but I don't know where to begin actually. Quite a few things I've been pondering on for the past few weeks and I've just been working myself to tiredness so as not to ponder on things anymore. I just need to let off a little steam. Hmmm. I know I just pushed myself between a rock and a hard place. And now I can't get out. I thought that I saw something good so I just eased myself in and took the risk.

Now, I've realized it was just a mirage. Nothing more. It was just too good to be true. Now, I'm just hurt. No. Bitter is more like it because I just lost in a game that I knew I would be good at. I've been telling myself that I was taken for a ride. But I know deep down inside my lustful heart, that in fact, I entered the game without the right emotional state of mind required for such a match.

I'm not up to this. I hate losing. I hate thinking of the could've beens, would've beens, ifs, ands, and buts.
I thought I was a bitch enough to pull this one off, but it backfired. I was so into it, and now, it's over.

Gademit. Sabi ko na nga ba eh, basta sobrang saya sa una, lubos na kalungkutan ang sumusunod.


mell ditangco (this is my pseudonym) said...

very poetic post. life is full of gray areas. sometimes we would like to believe that there are clear winners and losers. when in the end, all the things we considered or did not think about does not matter.

its all about taking it one step at a time.
not taking ourselves too seriously.
just doing our best one task at a time.

before you know it you have achieved.


anyway... its just me... trying to navigate the grey, just like you are...

Pong said...

things happen for a reason. the question is: how do you take it to your advantage?

don't worry, whatever it is, everything will fall into place.

--from somebody u don't know who finds your post an eye-opener. thanks.

eventuallypretty said...

hey rose. just read this entry ng buo. i dont know if you read a blog entry of mine entitled 3 point play. its almost the same thing you posted (online twins nga bang talaga? *lol*)anyway i said i analyzed things too much to the point of exhaustion. sabi ko kasi 'i joined the game with the intention of winning yet in the end realizing that you have to earn a few losses, have a couple of fouls and suffer injuries before you feel the taste of victory...'

enough of my ramblings. there will be other games worthy of winning at. :)

... beachfreak said...

I know replies are late. Tsk. Tsk. Sowi po.

@mell: My life at present is full of gray areas. :( I know, I just posted that Closing Cyles article, pero mahirap pala. You have to really focus so the that the gray areas will have color. And direction as well.

@~reich~: Yes, things happen for a reason. And I hope everything will fall into place. Soon.

Before I become too jaded. :(

@eventuallypretty: Oh God, Patty. It's happening all over again. I'm trying to hold back the confusion and hurt I'm feeling right now. Just when I thought, for once, something was finally going right in my life. :(