Of Stoplights and Passion.

These pics were taken during the Stoplight party in Eastwood a couple of Saturdays ago, err, I think January 29. Say and Matt are 2 of the hosts of the show which is being shown in Channel 23, 3:30pm every Sundays [*ahem* *ahem* plugging...plugging].

I know, hindi kami mahilig sa pictures. Haha! Mga sabik talaga. We were also, hmm, sort of interviewed for the show but I wasn't able to watch last Sunday because Mayette and I were in La Union for our surfing bonding weekend. Yikes, must've looked awful. Hehehehe. Oh, which reminds me, I'll be posting pics of that La Union weekend soon, just have to upload pics from my cam.

Anyway, I missed dancing with the pep girls. Graduate na kasi kami lahat so the only time we get to dance together is when we go to Dusk or any club. And the girls are great dancers so you can just imagine the chaos we bring to the dancefloor when we converge.

I don't really go out to drink, contrary to what people think (I've been moderately drinking for the past few years and I think the last time I got drunk was 2 years ago. But let's not go there. :) ) The truth is: I go out because I need to dance. I need to move.

Well, dancing has always been a refuge for me. As I say it's my salvation. I dance when I feel sad. I dance when I feel bad about something. I dance when I can't vent out my frustration over a feeling or an issue. I dance when I feel like crying. It clears my mind. It frees me of my inhibitions and I become my true self. The way I move and my choreography (if you've seen my routines) shows people who I really am: spontaneous, physical, assertive, passionate, self-assured, upbeat.

Yes, even when I'm alone, I dance. Most especially when I'm alone. And when I feel alone. When I'm dancing, that's the time I feel...natural. I am so in control.

Definitely, I'm at my best when I dance. I'm in my element.

I love dancing in front of a crowd. Always in my performance-level cheerleader smile, even when it's just practice. I remember the first NCAA halftime performance the CSB pep squad did. It was in Araneta Coliseum. Full-packed. Oh gawd. The sweat beads were growing bigger. But I absolutely loved it. Loved it. That's why when I was given the chance to perform again with the squad during my trainor days, I grabbed it. It was a DLSU vs CSB UAAP-NCAA Bantay Bato Champions game. Since both schools would perform same cheers, we held a meeting with the DLSU squad and then decided to just have a merged halftime performance. A first ever in the DLSU system. Awesome. Astig sobra. We performed Powerbeat, Rekti, Buma, Zama, and Who's to... Rizal was also packed during that game. Mayhem, I tell you. Absolute mayhem. One of my most memorable performances ever.

I've been through a handful of life-changing experiences, and my passion for dancing has helped me get through each and every one of them: happy moments, heartaches, deaths, depression, disappointments, family issues, even academic issues. I've always believed that my dancing has kept me in school. I mean, siguro kung hindi ako cheerleader nun, I'd always be absent or I'd always cut class. My mom and dad used to tease me na I just studied so I can dance. I was in school for like 8-11 hours Monday to Saturday. Whew. But my family has always been supportive of this passion and they recognize it as a gift. They would always watch the NCAA games sa TV just so they could catch a glimpse of me dancing. My nephew, Dominic, was able to watch the DLSU vs CSB game halftime on TV, and now when we go out, he would always say to anybody who'll listen 'Tita ko yan, magaling magsayaw yan!' Never fails to make me smile.

Oh well. In this world of long-gone morals and values (I have some left, thank you very much!); deep-backstabbing-heartbreaking-bullshit-laden life, dancing is my outlet, my salvation. Dancing keeps me sane.

I'm a dancer for life. That's what I'll always be.