Friday, May 27, 2005

Be Healthy.

The past week saw me spending nights (as usual my 12mn to 9am shit, este, shift pala) in the office and then straight to the hospital for my 'bantay' duty while my mom was in the ICU.

We rushed her to the hospital Sunday at 1am because she was scared something was wrong with her because she has had trouble sleeping for the past few days. By Sunday 9am, she was transferred to the ICU because of complications brought about by her diabetic condition.

Sobrang kinabahan kami ng sister ko. Usually, in situations such as this, my brother would be in his take-charge mode. But since my kuya and his wife were in Europe, my atsi and I had to pull through for my mom. Good thing the hospital bills will be charged to my Maxicare card since my mom is my dependent and then the hospital room we are using to accommodate visitors (and ourselves) will be paid for by my Tito Pablo. He didn't want us staying in the waiting area.
Bless you, Tito Pabs.

The cardiologist said she suffered a mild heart attack, most probably 2 days before we brought her to the hospital. He also said aside from her heart, her kidneys are weak. That's what scary about diabetes, my mom did not feel a single thing. She didn't even know she had a heart attack or a heart ailment for that matter. And as far as I know she doesn't have any issues with urinating or with her bowel movement.
Nakakainis tuloy, not at my mom of course, but because of the fact that we were not in control of the situation, moreso, aware of what was happening.

This is all my fault.
She became diabetic when she gave birth to me. A gestational diabetes that turned to Type 1, if I understand it.

Yes, I am the freaking reason. And I hate myself for that. Sana sa akin nalang ibinigay yung sakit na yan. If I only I could claim her illness. I hate seeing my mom weak and confused. As much as possible, when she has a check-up or we rush her to the hospital because of her diabetes, I almost always don't go with her; it's either my ate or my kuya who accompany her.
No, I'm not being maldita. It's actually the guilt kicking in.

My atsi is also diabetic - Type 2 and has been very steadfast in making sure her diet and medication is correct and she gets enough exercise, always checking her blood sugar level and stuff.

Everybody has been asking me to get a test to see if I'm diabetic as well. And I will. Soon. I swear.

I've never been health-conscious. I smoke, I don't get enough sleep, I don't eat right, heck, sometimes I don't eat enough (I don't eat rice anymore), I don't engage in sports as much as I used to. I would love to take up Capoeira full-time but my work schedule prevents me from doing so. But I am resolved to go to classes soon. If not Capoeira, then I'd probably go back to gymnastics in Rizal.

Today, my mom will be getting out of the ICU, thank God. She's going back to her hospital room. Hopefully she goes home within the week.

To my friends who prayed for my mom, thank you thank you thank you sooooo much. You guys don't know how relieved I am that she's okay.

But... please please still say a short prayer for her if you may.

Anyway, go to this site for more information on

Hey, knowing is half the battle.

Take care everyone. Be healthy.


mell ditangco (this is my pseudonym) said...

oh syobe, don't blame yourself. There are things in life we cannot control, all you can do is to educate yourself, be more prepared next time and keep loving your mom as you always did.

eventuallypretty said...

glad to know your mom's ok. :) yeah don't blame yourself. ikaw na nga nag sabi somethings we don't really have any control on.

things will get better. :)

Quentin said...

ahh, that's too bad. but unless what you're saying is just a way to vent out stress, it'll break your mom's heart that you are blaming yourself for her condition.

my mum fell off the table trying to place the bird cage up on a hook, and well, can't say she'll blame me for giving her those parakeets as a mummy's day present :)

... beachfreak said...

@ahia: I've never really bothered to look up Diabetes on the internet. Then a few days ago I bought The Diabetes Cookbook for Dummies. Hehe.

@twinpatty: Things are looking up indeed. She's out of the ICU na and is in a private room. Just waiting for her we can take her home =)

... beachfreak said...

@quentin: You never fail to put a smile on my face, Quentin! ;) Thanks!

barenaked said...

awww, don't feel guilty, dear! :S

ganun talaga eh...

i hope maging ok condition ng mom mo real soon. :)

and you're right, pa-check up ka na rin... :)

... beachfreak said...

@barenaked: She's fine na. :D So all of us are pretty relieved. Might have my check-up this Wednesday. Thanks! See you around!