No regrets.

Earlier today, a classmate of mine from Maestro Ryan Cayabyab's school of music and I met up. We haven't seen each other for awhile so we had a lot of things to catch up on. When she found out that my long-term relationship has gone kaput, I thought she was going to cry. She then asked - no -- she demanded how was I able to sustain a 6-year relationship? I was actually silent for, like, 10 seconds. She laughed out loud at my silence, cursing me that it was in bad taste I had to think. She and her man have just been together for 3 months and, like any new couple, would like to 'spend the rest of our lives together.'

Was it that easy for the both of us to just part ways and live individually? Hell, no. It's never easy. My nephews would always look for him, always asking if Tito will bring food or new games for the PS. My mom, during the first few weeks, would often slip and ask/tell me things: if he was still sleeping wake him up para mag-almusal; baka ma-late sa work; what time darating for dinner; pupunta ba for lunch...

Repeat after me: It's never easy.
Did we see it coming: to last this long only to break up? No. I've always thought that he would be the man I would marry. The man who would be the father of my children. I still remember a night, two or three years ago, before going to sleep, I told him I missed my period. He immediately had a big grin on his face then he asked me, 'When do we announce it? Nasaan yung phone ko...' His disappointment was evident when my period came 3 days later.

I loved him more after that.

She asked me, 'How can you let go of a 6-year old relationship?' Paano nga ba? Hehe. It was not easy. We tried really hard to make it work. But neither of us was growing. And growth in a relationship, well, you get the picture.

We grew apart. We talked about it, and he did accept his faults. I admitted my own faults as well. He cried. I cried. He wanted to hold on to what was left. I was torn between getting what I truly deserved and hanging on to what was left of a once-passion-laden, fiery-manic-driven 6-year love affair.
He took me for granted; I was tired of making him realize that.
He was contented with his life: laid-back and no worries. I am ambitious and I crave for challenges.
He wanted to stay behind me; I needed him to be beside me. It was my desire that if I was on my way up, so was he. With me.

But no regrets.

6 years was spent loving and caring for a wonderful man who devoted his whole being to loving me and caring for me. I was blessed to have met a man who was able to accept all of me. I consider myself lucky, until now, that I was loved completely by a man so gentle and kind. He took care of me when I found myself sick in my bed or ill at the hospital. He stood by and with me through the tougher times.

Cried with me, played with me, held my hand, made me smile.

Most importantly, he showed me a glimpse of what kind of woman I can become.

Eventhough we have parted ways, and have hurt each other without knowing it, 6 years is still 6 years. And was it some kind of ride.

I despise the circumstance of why we had to end it but there are things that you simply cannot change.