Saturday, March 12, 2005

Sex and Tissue.

I'm pissed tonight so forgive me if I blabber about some things which are nonsensical, if there is such a fucking word. My mind is at its breaking point and I just need to let out a few good rants.

If you may....

Rant #1: Now, why do men think that you are easy when you, a woman, openly discuss sex with them?

When I openly discuss sex with you, it does not mean that I want to do you.

When I openly discuss sex with you it does not mean I want you as a fubu.

When I openly discuss sex with you it does not mean I want to get laid.

When I openly discuss sex with you it does not mean that we could get a sleazy room and shack until kingdom come.

Yes, I did say that I crave for intellectually-stimulating conversations.

Yes, I did say that sex is a good topic for one.

But don't get me wrong; if you are looking for a lay, you ain't gonna get any from me.

You want a piece of me? You're going to have to do more ---- much much more than have a sexually-oriented conversation with me. Get my drift?

Geez, get a life, dude.

***(Will have a full-blown, pun intended, entry on this one of these days...)

Rant #2: You know those circular tissue dispensers that holds those humungous rolls of tissue placed inside the comfort room cubicle? You know those? Huge, right? And they're somewhat thick, right? [Oh God, am I really talking about the tissue holder or something else...mwahahahaha!] Well, they placed one in each of the cubicles in the girls comfort room in the office. Fine. It's all good, I mean, any piss-ass girl would be thankful for the bountiful supply of tissue in the cubicle. God forbid it runs out. Ack.

Now ever since those tissue holders were placed, I've had to contort my body in such a way so that I can get in and out of the fucking cubicle.

Imagine this...You open the door of the cubicle 'pa-loob' and it almost, I say it again, almost, touches the edge of the toilet bowl. You with me? Okay. You have to step inside sideways so you can fit towards the left of the toilet bowl so you can close the freaking door. Now, you have your back against the wall. Oh, oh! Let me correct meself: You have your ass against the wall while you are slightly bent over because the gudamn circular tissue dispenser is in the way. All good? Goody. So you do your thing, and all that shit; pun not intended. Done deal. You have just enough room to fix yourself, thank God. So now you have to get out. You just go through the procedure but start from the left side of the bowl, ass against the wall, door touches the bowl and you exit sideways thingie. Ugh.


Rant #3: If everything is going your way, chances are you are in the wrong lane.

Go figure.



eventuallypretty said...

these are the days you wanna stay in bed. hahaha...

i totally soo agree with rant one. what else is new twinnie...

... beachfreak said...

@eventuallypretty: True, too true. Dammit. I was choosing my words carefully during that coffee date. I think he went home with a hard-on. Bwahahahhaa!

... beachfreak said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
eventuallypretty said...

hmmm i wonder kung sino yang malas na yan... :)

Anonymous said...

next time you talk about sex, talk about sex that you see @ national geographic - may extra baon ka? hee hee

... beachfreak said...

@eventuallypretty: My dear twin, we've encountered him somewhere in PEx. Hahahaha!

@anonymous: OMG. Bicho, is that you? Hehe. Good piece of advice. For you, I'll always have extra baon. With dessert pa! Update your blog, dammit!